Protecting your partner if you have herpes (3 proven methods)

More about the 3 ways to protect your partner

Antiviral medication

Antiviral medication reduces the risk of herpes transmission by 50% (from 10.2% to 5%). It will reduce “silent” (asymptomatic) viral shedding as well as the frequency of herpes outbreaks.

Different medication options and regimens are available (discussing them is beyond the scope of this article), with the most common being Valtrex 500 mg once a day. Herpes medication is safe and well tolerated by most people.

Condoms

Condoms have been proven to reduce the risk of herpes transmission by 50% (from 10.2% to 4%).

“Condoms …..reduce the risk of herpes transmission by 50%...”

Shedding of the herpes virus usually occurs through the soft mucosal areas of penile skin, the vagina, and the anus. Therefore, those areas need to be covered during sex.

Using a dental dam and plastic wrap is advised for lesbians. This provides the same risk reduction as condoms, 50%.

Talking to your partner

Talking to your partner about your herpes condition helps to develop trust, improves the relationship, and makes regular use of condoms more likely.

When you talk to your partner, you’ll find out if they’re one of the people who understand the risk of getting herpes and are OK with it or if they’re in the group of people who want the most protection possible.

You should ask your partner to get tested for herpes. Most people have never been tested for herpes because this isn’t a routinely ordered test even if a “full STD panel” is requested.

A type-specific (IgG) herpes test is necessary. If your partner is positive for the same virus type, you won’t need to use protection.

Partner protection in the two herpes stages

During outbreaks

Herpes outbreak are uncommon. Moreover, the number of outbreaks goes down over time.

The chance of passing the infection during an outbreak is 20.1%.

When the virus spreads the most

A person is most infectious for a few days before an outbreak (the prodrome period), during an outbreak, and for a few days after an outbreak resolves.

“…..Person is the most infectious…. few days before an outbreak ….,

during and for a few days after an outbreak….”

• The prodrome symptoms to watch for are fatigue, tingling of the skin, and a patch on the skin.
• The signs and symptoms of an outbreak are fever, a blister, an open sore, and a crusted sore.
• Two or three days after the crust is gone and the skin has healed, the chance of transmission will be less.

During outbreaks, you should avoid sexual contact

It’s best to not have sex during an outbreak

• There is a high chance of passing the herpes infection to your partner with skin-to-skin contact in the area of the outbreak and surrounding areas (the area that is infectious is bigger than the outbreak)
• Additionally, your partner is at greater risk of contracting any other STDs you’re positive for through herpes-damaged skin

Low-risk sexual contact

Some people find it difficult to not have sex at all during an outbreak, so it’s important to know what types of intimacy are considered safest.

• Masturbation or fantasy
• No skin-to-skin contact is safe during an outbreak, but touching with the hands is considered the least unsafe

The role of antiviral medication

• Antiviral medication will shorten the duration of the outbreak and reduce shedding of the virus from the skin.

Between outbreaks

Most of the time, people with herpes are symptom free. Unfortunately, though, herpes can still be transmitted even when there are no visible symptoms or signs of it. The chance of passing herpes during the asymptomatic period is 10.2%.

When silent virus shedding happens, why it happens, and what triggers it are beyond the scope of this article.

The following methods of protecting your partner from herpes between outbreaks apply to oral, vaginal, and anal sex.

Antiviral medication

Once-a-day antiviral medication will reduce the chance of herpes transmission by 50% (from 10.2% to 5%).

Condoms

Condoms are good protection against herpes. Consistent use of condoms reduces the transmission rate by 50% (from 10.2% to 4%).

Talking to your partner about herpes

Talking to your partner will help them understand the condition better and make regular condom use more likely.

Some important facts affecting the risk of herpes transmission

• Herpes is transmitted through skin-to-skin contact
• The first outbreak is the most contagious
• There is a greater statistical chance of passing herpes when you’ve been recently diagnosed whether you have symptoms or not
• Herpes infects skin areas that are thin and moist because it’s easier for the virus to penetrate those areas. For that reason, females are three times more likely to be infected than males
• Younger people having casual sex are more likely to contract herpes
• HSV-1 in the genital area recurs less often than HSV-2
• Being positive for HSV-2 gives some protection against getting HSV-1. The opposite is not true
• If a person with one type of herpes acquires a different type, the flare-up symptoms are milder
• Lesbians get HSV-1 in the genital area because of oral–genital sex
• Sex toys should not be shared. But if they are shared, they should be cleaned with water and soap before being used

Conclusion

Herpes is extremely common. In fact, millions of people in the United States have it—and they’re living normal lives and having healthy and satisfying sexual relationships. This article has discussed the three proven ways to greatly reduce the risk of transmitting herpes to your partner: medications, condom use, and open communication. If you’ve been diagnosed with herpes, by all means, use these strategies to protect your uninfected partner as much as possible. Educate yourself about the condition. At the same time, relax: herpes is not the end of your sex life.